I remember that it seemed safer to stay in the womb of a mother, who I knew didn't welcome me with an open heart, than to enter a world whose energies I could clearly feel before even seeing it.
So I struggled and tried to hang on, which resulted in me being born with the umbilical cord wrapped twice around my neck. So much for wearing sweaters with turtlenecks.
Next, someone took me by the feet and patted me firmly on the back while I was dangling upside down, and I just thought, "Thank you, no. Where's the exit here?" This question became a wish at times and has been with me most of my life.
Earth felt terrible. Dense, heavy, unloving - and above all loud. I was used to fly, to communicate telepathically, to travel by mind power and create things ... but none of that worked here. I felt trapped in the fleshy costume I was now wearing and nothing I saw around me made sense. So little by little I closed up.
Between my birth and the age of nineteen I went through almost all the traumatic experiences that modern psychologists can name, and the stress was so great that I learned to withdraw: to leave my body. Whenever the pain seemed to become unbearable, I projected my consciousness out of the body. Having reached my early twenties, I felt more present outside my body than inside, although I learned to live with what was commonly called a "hypersensitive nature." At the same time I had very sharp and clear perceptions, which very often led to complications that I could not understand at that time.
Thank God the soul always knows exactly what to do. So mine came up with something to bring me into the here and now, something that touched my heart. She made every effort to force me to face her presence. And so my journey home began.
Bit by bit old memories surfaced. Triggered by encounters, readings or visiting specific places, I began to remember more and more...
My life journey led me to America, where I re-connected with my shamanic roots and found my true spiritual belonging. My nine-year long stint in the land of freedom initiated a magical, mystical time of inner growth and liberation, which came to an abrupt end with my return to Germany. What had been a period of tremendous spiritual expansion in the United States was now turning into a time of trials and challenges in the environment I had grown up in. Giving my parents nursing care and supporting their transition took me deep into an extended dark night of the soul.
What manifested as a long-lasting burnout was also a time when the mind was mostly on vacation and the intuitive abilities were able to regroup. So I worked myself out of this difficult phase and, for the first time, opened to the thought of spiritual work albeit with a lot of inner resistance stillsd. I learned that the so-called weaknesses were basically my strengths and powerful tools I could employ to support others. But still ... some pieces of my life's puzzle did not fit together yet.
This changed in a fateful first encounter with Dolores Cannon's life's work. Two hours of hypnosis and everything began to make sense and lay before me in great clarity now. For the first time in my life, the puzzle pieces fell into place, and the journey I had taken through this life made sense. Finally, I felt free to do what I had come here to do. Even though I didn't know in detail at the time what this would be, I was absolutely sure that I was on the right track.
And so another part of my journey began, which led me to the GrailCode and home to the Sophia Collective and made me aware that I had come here to take my place in this enormous spectacle, where entire galaxies are watching us attentively.
My mission is to serve Mother Earth and newly awakened souls in the Ascension process.
Awakening might at first appear like a process in which we are thrown into a great Unknown that seems not only unfamiliar or scary. Yet, in truth, the Awakening takes us on a journey of remembrance, a journey to the highest truth about who and what we are and what we came here for. Once your Soul awakens within you, life no longer looks the same to you and your own existence might be thrown off for a while as well. Know that you are not alone. I'm here to help you remember ...